Be a Friend to Yourself
Posted on 27 November 2015 @ 10:45 pm with 0 comments


秋風 by k♫

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I've always been hard on myself. When something goes wrong, I always feel that it's my fault and I tend to feel guilty for far too long. I blame myself for things that aren't even that important, for things other people would probably overlook. Get a bad grade in school? I would feel terrible and blame myself even if I had put 110% effort into the class, even if I had gotten nosebleeds studying for it. I never gave myself enough credit because all I could think of was "it's my fault". I could never stop being hard on myself no matter how hard I tried. This bad habit of mine was starting to ruin my life. I began to hate myself and I could feel my self worth and self confidence slowly but surely begin to deplete.

I was openly talking about this to a person I would consider my 'sunbae' (senior). This sunbae of mine is one of the most insightful people I know and he has one of the kindest hearts around. After I told him about my problem of blaming myself for everything that goes wrong and telling him about the negative way I talk to myself , he told me this,

"Suraya, you are great friends to others. I've watched and witnessed this myself, but how come you're not a good friend to yourself? Be a friend to yourself Suraya, work on this" 

And then I realized what he was saying. The way I treat myself, the way I talk to myself is that the way I would talk to my friend? If something goes wrong would I tell my friend "wow look at what you've done, you've ruined everything". No, I wouldn't, instead I would say something like "it's not your fault! you tried your best and that's what counts!" or "don't worry, no one even noticed!" or maybe even a simple "you'll do better next time, but i'm still proud of you and what you've accomplished so far".

So, whenever something goes wrong and you're beginning to feel overly guilty and blame yourself for it, ask yourself this, "am I being a good friend to myself?". If the answer is no, then do whatever it takes to try and change that.

I still remember that evening my sunbae listened to me. I remember the way he looked, eyes alert, head bobbing up and down as he listened and cared for my concerns and ofcourse I will always remember his exact words telling me to be a good friend to myself. Words I will think of as the days go by and as I continue to make mistakes in my life. Words I hope that you will also think of when you find you are being too hard on yourself.

No one said life would be easy, but at least we keep trying, and working hard at making it the best life it can be.
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بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم
Sora. I'm nothing special, and neither are you.
This is for my feelings.



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